I Fall Down

I fall down. It's what I do. I've fallen maybe five or so times in the past five or so years. Sometimes I fall walking and once I fell standing completely still on the side of a ski slope. Well that was twenty five years ago, and that's another story. But recently my seven year old granddaughter expressed concern about going bowling with me, cause, as she said, “you fall down sometimes, gramma”.

I laughed out loud, thinking “where in the world would she get that idea?”, when slowly the memory of falling seeped in... falling at the bowling alley last time we were there. We, (Gramps, my granddaughter and her brother), had spent a rainy afternoon at the bowling alley a few months before, cheering each other, booing each other, and me, of course, trying to show off (big mistake). I took one step too many and crossed the line onto the oiled lane. My feet flew up higher than my head and I landed flat on my back, sliding down the lane behind the bowling ball.

The aftermath was probably more shocking to the kids than my actually falling. People were running at me from all directions to help me up, shouting Ma'am! Are you alright ma'am? (love that handle). I was not able to stand up on the slippery surface, so all I could do was slide backwards with my hands, till I reached the dreaded spot of the accident, and with assistance, get back on my feet, totally humiliated, mumbling thank you's to the concerned crowd that had formed. The voices around me grew muffled as I experienced one of those powerless out-of-control-of-my-body feelings. My sweet granddaughter took my hand, walked me back to the benches, and said, “I'll take your place for the rest of the game gramma, you just sit here and rest.”

The bowling alley fall was probably my most recent with my granddaughter watching, although she also remembers another fall I took on our way to a ferry ride around the Statue of Liberty last spring. Cold spring day, some ice left on the wide streets surrounding Battery Park by the ferries, all of us walking quickly, shivering, wanting to warm up... when boom, just like that I was on the ground. Tripped? Slipped? Off balance? Who knows? I was down down down. And once again the Gen Xs and Ys nearby swiftly came to my rescue, and again the shouts of Ma'am! Are you OK? Once again the many arms reaching for me, helping me to my feet. I must say the rousing rescues from the younger generation reinforced my faith in human kindness.

I was not hurt in either of these falls, and the incidents only lasted minutes, maybe seconds. But I'm sure they were frightening to my young grandkids, and left them scarred with the “gramma might fall down” worry every time we undertake anything physical, including walking. They got me thinking... There was the time I fell over a fire hydrant on North Avenue. I was walking while talking, and the street was crowded with people out for lunch, and the town had relocated the fire hydrant to the middle of the sidewalk while doing street widening, but still.....

And there was the time I tripped on the curb going from my car to the bank and watched my body spin up, then crash down in slow motion, landing on my forearms, and chipping a bone in my elbow. I really could not move or help myself up since my arm was hurting so much. Oh yes, my knees also hurt, which further complicated a quick recovery, so when onlookers once again came to my rescue, and I said between sobs and tears, “just give me a few minutes to sit here and I'll be OK,” someone said “sure”, then called an ambulance. Yes, the EMTs came to my rescue, lifted me onto a stretcher and drove me, sirens blaring, to the hospital. A few months of discomfort and physical therapy, and I was as good as new.

I certainly don't want to traumatize my grandchildren further but I also want them to see that for a grandmother I'm still young-ish and healthy and strong enough for normal everyday life. I want my grandkids to lose the “Gramma's falling down” fear. But the reality is, I will fall again. So there it is!

I have read there are ways to fall, like don't let your head hit the ground, and try to land with your hands flat and practice falling on a padded mat at home. (I don't really practice). I work on improving my balance and strength, and I wear flat shoes. I also practice laughing out loud, so I'm ready next time I go down!

I do not want to miss jumping into the pool with them rather than slowly walking in, and riding crazy amusement park rides with them, and zooming down water slides on the boardwalk with them. And next time I fall, I will remember to laugh out loud and let them help me up. After all, it is better to fall and get up, even if you need help, than never to have fallen at all!  

I have this fear of falling in front of large groups of people. That's why I tend not to wear heels.

--Taylor Swift